Do you feel guilty about cutting your child off? Don't. Self-sufficiency is rewarding and highly desirable. Here's how you can help your grown kid achieve it:
- Expect your child to become self-sufficient and communicate that expectation. This will spur each of you to actively work toward the goal.
- Help your adult child develop a budget to live within his means, not yours.
- Set deadlines. Let your kid know that on X date, you'll stop paying the bills.
- If your child wants to move back in with you -- or is currently living with you -- make it clear you'll help for a limited time, such as three months. Stick to it, and periodically remind him of the goal date so it doesn't sneak up.
- Give your child duties and responsibilities while living with you. Your goal is twofold: to help him save money for a fresh start and to make him want to move out.
Getting your mooching child to live independently takes work, but it's a wonderful feeling for everyone when the grown-up kid in question realizes that he can take care of himself.
See the next page for lots more information on parenting adult children.
- 10 Tips for Parenting Adult Children
- 5 Tips for Dealing With an Adult Child Moving Home
- 5 Ways to Stay In Touch With Your Grown Children
- How can you influence grown children's nutrition?
- How to Guide Adult Children Without Being Controlling
- Can you claim an adult child as a dependent?
- How to Coach Your Adult Child Into a Career
- 10 Tips for Helping Your Child Buy a First Home
- 5 Things Parents Should Do Before a Son Gets Married
- How to Talk WITH - not AT - Your Adult Children
- Ameriprise Financial. "Money Across Generations Study." 2007. (June 6, 2011) http://www.ameriprise.com/global/docs/mac-report.pdf
- Blumenthal, Karen. "Helping Kids Fend for Themselves." The Wall Street Journal. June 5, 2010. (June 1, 2011) http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703961204575280522927340504.html?mod=WSJ_PersonalFinance_PF2
- Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. "Seniors face 'sons in the basement' syndrome." Dec. 3, 2007. (June 1, 2011) http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/story/2007/12/03/sons-basement.html
- Cancino, Alejandra. "Recent college graduates earn less than those who graduated before the recession." Los Angeles Times. May 20, 2011. (June 2, 2011) http://articles.latimes.com/2011/may/20/business/la-fi-graduates-20110518
- ClearPoint Credit Counseling Solutions. "Are Baby Boomers Financially Spoiling their 'Kids?'" (June 6, 2011) http://www.clearpointcreditcounselingsolutions.org/life_credit/baby_boomers.aspx
- Dr. Phil. "How to Deal with Your Mooching Child." (June 1, 2011) http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/285
- Griffin, Greg. "Unemployment rate for young people highest in decades." The Denver Post. Dec. 22, 2010. (June 6, 2011) http://www.denverpost.com/business/ci_16915863
- Pacella, Sherry. Experienced parent and businesswoman. Telephone interview. June 7, 2011.