Is black tie ever really optional?

Worried that you'll be the only guy (or woman on the arm of said guy) at the event to show up in a run-of-the-mill suit and tie?

Don't sweat it! Obviously, the bride wouldn't have tacked "optional" on the end of the phrase if she didn't mean it. If you're worried about looking shabby next to other guests, do a bit of friendly reconnaissance to determine your wardrobe options. A quick phone call to your mother, aunt or even the couple in question is usually all you need to ease your mind about such questions. Especially if you're friends with the groom, he'll come clean about the bride's expectations for attire.

If no one is offering specifics about wardrobe or they're laughing off your concerns, it's safe to say that you can show up in something other than a tux. According to wedding etiquette experts, men can sport a conservative, dark suit and tie and still meet expectations. Women can opt for a nice dress (read: nothing too short) or even a skirt and top combo.

A note to couples: Be certain to get your ducks in a row ahead of time. A woman who dresses up in an evening gown for the event will be pretty put out if her date wears much more casual attire.

Sure, it's says "optional" on your invite, but you have it on good authority that the event is a mega-bucks affair that the governor is planning to attend. In such cases, it's best to err on the side of caution and look your fancy-pants best by renting a tux or splurging on an appropriately formal gown for the occasion.

Women have it a little bit easier than men in terms of fashion flexibility. A floor-length gown is appropriate, as is a cocktail dress. Up the formality factor by choosing a dark color or metallic and something with embellishments, like embroidery, beading or intricate fabric work.

For summertime nuptials, men can feel free to wear a tux with a white dinner jacket. However, for the other seasons, a black jacket/tie/vest or cummerbund combo is the expectation.

If you're repeatedly invited to black tie events, you might consider purchasing your own tuxedo or picking up a few event dresses when you happen upon them (bonus points if they're on the sale rack). Chances are you'll save a lot of money in the long run by avoiding over-priced rentals or purchasing appropriate gowns at full price. Other guests might start taking a cue from your on-point attire, and you'll never fret about your wedding wardrobe again. At the very least, you'll look fabulous in pictures!