63 of the Funniest Dad Jokes to Make Eyes Roll

OK, to be fair, these jokes are probably funniest to the dads telling them. Jose Luis Pelaez Inc / Getty Images

Telling dad jokes is a hallmark of fatherhood; those groan-worthy quips that somehow always seem to land, even if it’s just to elicit a chuckle or a sigh. They're simple, usually pun-filled, and often require little setup. The funniest dad jokes come with punchlines so obvious, you can’t help but laugh while rolling your eyes.

What makes the best dad jokes so effective is their predictability. Even when you know where the punchline is going as soon as the setup begins, you can't help but let out an amused groan. You don’t have to be a dad to go around telling classic dad jokes, but you might feel like one after you do.

In a world filled with complex, multilayered comedy, corny dad jokes remind us that sometimes, a simple pun about ducks, cows or facial hair is all you need to brighten someone's day — or at least make them roll their eyes and smile. So, without further ado, dive into 63 of our favorite dad jokes.

16 Dad Jokes About Food

I asked my dad how many apples grow on a tree. He said, "All of them."
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school!
I told a ground beef joke to my butcher, but he wasn't impressed. Guess it wasn’t rare enough.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
Why did the orange stop halfway up the hill? Because it ran out of juice.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know which comes first.
What did the spoiled milk say? "I’m expired, but still good for a laugh!"
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
Why don’t bananas work in the factory? Because they split too early!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What did the spoiled milk say? "I’m expired, but still good for a laugh!"
What’s orange and stops halfway? A lazy carrot.

13 Dad Jokes About Animals

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles!
Why don’t cheetahs play hide and seek? Because they’re always spotted.
Why did the duck walk into a bar? To quack open a cold one.
Why did the chicken join the band? Because it had drumsticks.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the monkey and the gorilla start a band? Because they were prime mates!
Why don’t lions play games with leopards? Too many cheetahs!
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
What did they call the lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Why did the duck walk into the restaurant? Because the bill was on him.
How much does it cost to swim with sharks? An arm and a leg.
Why don't octopuses laugh at jokes? They’re too deep.

4 Dad Jokes About Time

Can February march? No, but April may!
Why don’t calendars ever fall behind on news? They’re always up to date!
Why don’t Peter Pan jokes ever get old? Because they never grow up!
I told my kids a joke so bad it caused eye rolls in five different time zones!

8 Dad Jokes About Chores and Household Items

Why did the vacuum cleaner break up with its partner? It was tired of being sucked into drama.
Why did the vacuum cleaner joke get so much attention? Because it really sucked.
Why are brooms hard to argue with? They always sweep things under the rug.
Why did the garbage truck break down? It was a total waste.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

5 Dad Jokes About Clothes

What did one hat say to the other? "Stay here, I’m going on ahead."
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear!
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Why don’t mountains ever get cold? They wear snowcaps!

5 Dad Jokes About Nature

How does a snowman throw a party? He just chills out.
How does the ocean say hi? It waves!
What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hey, bud!"
What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
How do you organize a party in space? You planet!

2 Dad Jokes About School

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
Did you hear about the math book? It's got too many problems!

10 Funny Dad Jokes About Random Things

Why did the man fall into the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
Did you hear about the guy who invented knock-knock jokes? He won the No-bell prize!
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Why don’t elevator jokes make people laugh that often? Too many ups and downs.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why don’t skeletons tell dad jokes? They don't have the guts!

We created this article in conjunction with AI technology, then made sure it was fact-checked and edited by a HowStuffWorks editor.