While the gift-giver's intentions may be sincere, giving a self-help book as a wedding gift can be hurtful and a big blow to the recipient's self-esteem. A friend or relative might give a bathroom scale and a nutrition book to the bride intending to positively motivate her before her wedding day, but we know few brides who wouldn't bristle at this. Other touchy subjects to stay away from? Money -- no couple wants books on how to manage their finances. That's nervy, offensive and sends the message that they're not responsible.
Giving someone a self-help book is like telling a person he has room for improvement. Wedding gifts should celebrate a couple, not hurt their feelings or impart unsolicited advice. Sending the bride and groom books on marriage and relationship advice can be awkward, especially if the gift-giver is single, divorced or in an unhealthy marriage of her own! Books on how to improve bedroom behavior are just as bad.
Bottom line: If the bride and groom feel like they need a little help, they'll ask for it or buy their own books.