The scenario: Women who fall in this category don't just want to help with the wedding -- they want to plan it outright. After all, this MOG has been around the block a few times and knows what works and what doesn't. Your future DIL might resist your critical opinions now, but she'll thank you later! Enough chitchat: It's time to draft a detailed e-mail to the DIL on the merits of lilies versus roses.
The solution: First and foremost, remember that your son is getting married. Not. You. So, resist the urge to take over the planning process and/or offer your two cents at every turn. Instead, wait for your DIL to solicit your opinions and gently remind her on a regular basis that you're willing and able to help out if she needs it. Otherwise, you risk aggravating an already stressed-out bride. Who do you think is going to shoulder the burden of her frustration? That's right -- you, the MOG, will become Public Enemy No. 1 if you're not careful with your well-meaning criticism.
In the inevitable event that she ignores your wishes or advice, remember that this event isn't exactly a meeting of the United Nations. No one's going to blacklist you from future social events because the bridesmaids wore white shoes after Labor Day. If you're still feeling the itch to control a party in your own unique way, throw yourself into a pre-planning frenzy for your upcoming wedding anniversary celebration. Then, you can show her how it's really done!