It's been a fairly low-key year for the fashion industry. Tail hems, pastels and ballet-inspired outfits are big, and more off-beat models with gap-teeth and tattoos are in demand.
No big news so far.
But just because there haven't been any surprises and scandals yet doesn't mean that there isn't a wave of potential trends coming at you. If the fashion police are real, we've got 10 crimes to report.
Coming up are 10 of this year's fashion trends that we wouldn't be caught dead in. From bunny ears to fabrics only surfers should wear, make sure none of these items end up in your closet.
Lingerie is hard enough to swing in the bedroom, but when designers start using lingerie-inspired outfits as casualwear, things get impossible. The only people who can get away with wearing underwear on the outside are superheroes and toddlers.
Don't get us wrong, though. We love the lacy mood that the spring and summer shows have been bringing to the table. Lace has a flirty refinement that isn't overly girly, which has been sorely lacking in a year otherwise populated by over-the-top biker outfits and childish rompers. We'd just rather keep the lace for daywear and save lingerie for the bedroom.
Jumpsuits and Rompers
Playsuits, jumpsuits and rompers are one-piece ensembles that the fashion world has killed and resurrected more times than Jason Voorhees has come back to life. And guess what's back for 2011?
While jumpsuits supposedly flatter certain body types, we have yet to see anyone pull them off. As far as we're concerned, they combine all the excitement of a pair of overalls with all the practicality of a hazmat suit. Why wouldn't we want to wear a one-piece sack that we have to take off to go to the bathroom? Oh wait, we remember. All those reasons we just said.
Anyone who's ever worn a wetsuit knows how flatteringly neoprene shapes you. It's tight and strong, it evens out bulges, and it's at least half the reason why surfers look so fantastic. But there are just two problems with neoprene: It's incredibly hot to wear, and there's literally nothing that skintight neoprene complements besides skintight neoprene.
Since it was designed as an insulator, any part of you that's under neoprene is going to be basted in sweat. And because it sucks you in, neoprene plus any other fabric basically makes normal humans like us look like two different people sewn together. One half is svelte and athletic, the other is really into cinnamon rolls. Hats off to those who can rock it, though.
We feel a little bad about this one, because some of the belt purses we've seen are actually fantastic. There shouldn't be anything wrong with a sleek little clutch affixed to the hip -- and combining a clutch with a belt has that chocolate and peanut butter synchronicity to it.
Unfortunately, we still remember fanny packs. Shutter shades may have been able to make the jump from nerdy '80s reject to crazy hot fashion item (thanks, Kanye!), but it'll be a long time before a belt with a pouch on it can be associated with anything other than dumpy middle-aged tourists at Disney World.
There's attention-grabbing, and then there's visually assaulting.
This year's fruit prints are strictly the latter, with all the color of an animal print and none of the class. It's a no-win situation. You can either go for density with an ocean of writhing bananas, or a slightly more tasteful citrus and floral print that will make people think you made it out of a tablecloth.
While fruit can be pleasant to look at, the statement it makes on printed fabric ends up being less "pastoral elegance" and more "breakfast buffet."
Fruit and Flower Hats for Men
Hats are one of the fashion accessories that are routinely touted as being in for men.
Partly it's because hats are undeniably cool, but it's also because what other headwear are you going to have for men? Tiaras? Flowers? Fruit?
Yes, apparently all of the above.
It's been an unusually floral spring for men, and designers trying to push the bounds of masculine headwear have been tilting at some pretty fruit-covered windmills. That flowery elfin vibe we've been seeing on the catwalk clearly needs to remain there. It's one of those things that's going to look great in the spreads but completely outlandish anywhere else.
Embrace at your own peril.
Animal Print Bomber Jackets
Fashion is a fickle beast. You never know what's going to be hot one year and cold the next. And though today's iron-clad fashion don'ts may be tomorrow's big-ticket item, animal print anything is a look that's hard to wear well. And while we have to admit that the fashion world is running hot on animal prints at the moment, getting the point across with a bunchy, shapeless bomber jacket just screams cringe-worthy. Who cares if python is the new cheetah? Oh well, at least they're better than real fur.
The Overly Comfortable Trend
It's great when a pair of pants both looks great and feels comfortable, but we don't like where some of this is heading.
Jeggings and pajama jeans, we're looking in your direction.
Though they've been around since 2009 or so, fake elastic jeans, with their unstoppable combination of colossally bad taste and endless popularity in the face of widespread ridicule, have earned them a spot on our list. These pants have the marks of tomorrow's trash bins all over them -- cheap, fake, synthetic and ubiquitous. While we wish we could say that they've jumped the shark already, they're certain to be highly visible during 2011.
Ooh, bunny ears. Why we won't be caught in them should be obvious. Of course, they're not meant to be actual bunny ears -- the designs we've seen look more like a pairs of studded silk radar dishes. Unique and attention-getting they may be, but also goofily impractical and lacking in any substance. This is not fashion, this is a costume. Pass!
This year, we're afraid you're going to have to choose between two themes on opposite ends of the spectrum. In one corner, there's ballerina chic: wrap dresses, draping skirts, ballet flats and tufty tutus. In the other, there's biker chic: buckles, studs and black leather everything. Yes, the biker look can be done well -- just see Kate Moss on the cover of LOVE magazine for proof.
But while the biker look may have some legs (wrapped up in thigh-high boots, no less), it doesn't have the versatility of this year's ballet-inspired designs.
Our prediction? Frou-frou beats vroom-vroom.
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