Certain religious perspectives aside, most experts agree that homosexuality is a case of "nature," not "nurture." Getting educated about LGBT issues can help alleviate unnecessary parental guilt, regret and confusion; eliminate any latent (or not-so-latent) feelings of homophobia; and open the door to the kind of supportive, non-judging relationship every child (and parent) needs, gay or not.
So seek help from experts. That could mean going to the library and reading up on LGBT issues and family stories; joining organizations like PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays); finding a counselor or psychologist to help you work through your feelings and find the best ways to help your child and yourself; or joining a support group for parents of LGBT children and adults.
You're not alone, and finding your own support network can help both you and your child navigate the coming-out terrain.
Part of that navigation might mean taking on an active role in your child's struggle -- if you get permission …