"I Was In Labor Forever!"
Your labor may have been a 40-hour affair, rife with bloodletting and pain, but keep it to yourself. No pregnant woman, ever, really wants to hear your war story. We're already losing sleep over all the things that could go wrong with pregnancy and delivery, and we don't need your visual aids to add to the mix.
After all, the realities of labor are as close as docu-style television shows or that stack of books now populating our nightstands. What we need from you is probably more along the lines of, "You'll be fine." Same goes for episiotomies. There are just some things a pregnant woman doesn't want to know.