How to Stay Involved with Your Tween Without Hovering


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It's rough when "Mommy, let's hug!" and "Daddy, I want to stay home with you!" gets replaced with talking back, refusing to obey, swearing, keeping secrets and telling lies. While your tween's behavior is par for the course, it may make you want to watch him or her like a hawk. But is hovering over your child really a good idea?

True, the best way to head off bad behavior before it sets in as habit is to stay involved in your tween's life. Studies show that children who are parented with consistency, control and support experience more positive outcomes later in life. But there's a difference between "being involved" and "hovering." Experts agree that parents who over-advocate for their children (i.e. parents who hover) risk raising a child who may be unable to advocate for him- or herself later in life.

So how do you strike the perfect balance?

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