Occasionally, men and women who share similar religious beliefs and already have strong ties to a particular church tend to pair up. For the rest of us, juggling spiritual differences between families and finding an officiant who "gets" you and your fiancé can be a bit tricky.
Avoid awkward wedding-day snafus by spending some quality time with a prospective or chosen officiant. Discuss bluntly what your religion means to you and your fiancé and how you see it playing out over the duration of your lives together. Be sure to include your differences of opinion and beliefs, since most men and women of the cloth are trained to help couples work through fundamental spiritual issues. You should also provide him with some background into your relationship so that his sermon will speak more personally to you and your family. If you've ever tried speaking publicly on a topic you know little about, you'll understand how knowing your relationship history will make it easier for him to deliver a moving speech. So, give him something to work with! A seasoned officiant will be able to deftly weave your personal anecdotes in with your chosen theme or scripture at your nuptials, if he has the right tools to work with.
If you're having a secular ceremony, you'll still want to seek an officiant who's willing to get to know you. He can help you select passages of literature or songs to express your commitment and emotions. Asking a friend or relative who's ordained to officiate at your wedding can make the event that much more meaningful and intimate, so bear this in mind if your search isn't leading you anywhere.