We feel a little bad about this one, because some of the belt purses we've seen are actually fantastic. There shouldn't be anything wrong with a sleek little clutch affixed to the hip -- and combining a clutch with a belt has that chocolate and peanut butter synchronicity to it.
Unfortunately, we still remember fanny packs. Shutter shades may have been able to make the jump from nerdy '80s reject to crazy hot fashion item (thanks, Kanye!), but it'll be a long time before a belt with a pouch on it can be associated with anything other than dumpy middle-aged tourists at Disney World.