Hammer Pants
January 01 photo of MC HAMMER on stage wearing famous hammer pants

Funky lyrics and fresh new kicks aren't even enough to make these pants work. And no, Mr. Hammer, we don't want to touch this.

Mick Hutson/Redferns/Getty Images

Hammer pants are a fashion trend so truly bizarre that we're sure we imagined them. Did people (men, no less!) really walk around in the early '90s in baggy pants with enormous, draped crotches that sagged to the knees? Surely that must have been a bad dream. But then we'll come across the "U Can't Touch This" video on VH-1 Classics or something and realize that yes, it did really happen -- and they're just as heinous as we remembered.

We did hear a rumor that Hammer pants were making a high-fashion comeback as "harem pants" in 2009, but we ignored it in the hopes that it wasn't really true. Because let's get one thing straight: It's never Hammer time.

For more dreadful fashion blunders, break it down on the next page.