If you're at a real impasse with your mate over daily duties, get outside help in the form of a paid housekeeping service. Two working partners, especially if they have children, are strapped for time. It's a matter of logistics as much as relationship.
So ease the strain by hiring someone who can vacuum, dust and, in general, bring order to your chaos. A professional service may send a team of cleaners and cost $90 or more an hour. If that's not in your budget, you can find an individual who does cleaning on the side. As long as the references check out, hiring someone from the neighborhood who cleans part-time can save money. Remember, you'll need to keep track of the expense, which could have tax repercussions. So consult your accountant, too.
Keep in mind hiring a service to clean your home every two weeks -- or every week -- doesn't mean the chores will completely go away. Clutter still needs to be picked up. Dishes still need to be washed. Clothes still need to be laundered. These are things most cleaning services don't handle, and for many families, these tasks comprise most of the chore list.